connections

Have you ever felt the calming touch of someone who cares? It may not be a hug, just the reassuring touch of another human on your arm, back, grabbing your hand. I have, and I try to extend this gift to others. I am an anxious person, at time anxiety has been the constant storm that guides all that I do. At night I have been known to become overwhelmed with fear of death. I can be convinced that I am having a stroke, I know that sounds crazy but it is the truth. My husband only needs to lay his hand on me and I will immediately calm down. (In his absence I will pet my dog)I do not understand the science of touch I just accept the calming gift of touch.

I have heard before that we need 5 hugs a day to be healthy. I have seen documentaries of children in Russia who were not touched as infants, these infants were shaking experienced "failure to thrive." For me that is science enough we NEED to be touched.

I grew up in a family that did not hug or touch very much. I was not by any means deprived as a baby and developed normally it is just that in my teenage and preteen years hugs were rare and made me uncomfortable. Affection is something that my friend and I showered on each other but not something practiced in the home. I know that at times I felt starved for affection *although I had no desire to receive that from my dad at home. I loved to cuddle up and watch a movie with friends. I remember watching movies with a good friend, Ben, and we would be cuddled and you would think we were a "couple" but we were just friends meeting a deep felt need to be close and loved. I am thankful my friends who met this deep need in my life and taught me how to give and accept affection.

Even if you think that you do not like affection and hugs remember that it is a human need to feel connected loved so offer your love and affection to those around you.